Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[MagicJack]

Anyway, today my W called me to talk and say that she wants to push the D through asap. She will get me the paperwork from her attorney tomorrow to review and she is putting down a separation date of last year to speed things along since she said she wants this wrapped up within a few weeks.

Two weeks ago, unprompted, she told me she loved me and would never divorce me. Three weeks from now she will have her divorce. It's astounding to me. She said she would "respect the marriage" and not do anything with anyone until it is officially over, but as soon as we're divorce, she will start looking for another relationship because she is 28 and her clock is ticking.

She put me down a lot and basically gave me her checklist of what she wants from her next mate. I will post it for giggles since I couldn't believe it:

1. He has to be a counselor and nurse for her (her exact words: mentally she has depression/anxiety. Physically she has a benign brain tumpor, cold sores, collitis in her stomach, knee/hip problems, and crazy food allergies including lactose intolerance and otehr issues that send her to the hospital once a month).
2. He has to accept that she does not want to cook/clean.
3. He has to share all of her common interests with her such as rollerblading, playing video games, and going to the city (these are all things I don't mind doing, btw).
4. He has to accept her many male friends including ex-boyfriends she will hang out with and guys who have feelings for her who she feels she should be able to hang out with.
5. He has to cherish and adore her and be a Christian that goes to church regularly.
6. He has to not mind that she has $100k+ in student loan debt
7. He should want to cuddle all the time and give lots of physical affection (I tried but it was never enough)
8. He has to accept that she has to talk to everyone about all of her problems which would include her talking about him.
9. He should want to be friends with all of her friends (her friends are mostly single or homewreckers lol)
10. He should come from a good home with both parents (my mom left my dad when I was a kid, this one hurt)
11. When she has one of her frequent trips to the hospital, this perfect soulmate needs to drop everything to get there asap (I was 2 hours out of town once when she went in for a routine stomach problem and I couldn't get there and she never forgave me for it).

So that's about it. I told me grandmother and my mother about this (I'm living the dream in my grandmother's basement right now) and they had a good laugh and said "good luck to her". My mom said it sounds like I am getting out of this pretty easily and encouraged me to sign paperwork asap. At this point I am wondering how long she will be bouncing around out there before she realizes this person doesn't exist and comes to her senses.