First let me say that 7 months from BD to final D is just crazy, your XW pushed it through way too fast. Many states have gone to a 12 month wait before a D can be finalized, I wish they would all do that (it's 60 days here in TX). It takes at least a year for most WAS's to start coming out of the fog, and usually it takes much longer than that.
Originally Posted By: shouldistillhope
All these changes we talk about are a direct result of the situations we have been thrust into. If our X's wouldn't have left us would any of us have been making these changes for ourselves? So my question is, are any of us making these changes for anything other than to have our X's take notice?
I think at first that's our motivation, but at some time (different for each of us) we realize that it's important to make ourselves better people whether our WAS comes back or not.
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But I still wonder if i should invite her to lunch, invite her to do things together as a family (something she wanted to do all along as well as going out on dates when we were married) or just sit back and wait.
Neither. Don't reach out to her and don't sit around waiting for her. Move on with your own life and leave her to hers. You're on separate paths, maybe they cross again in the future and maybe they don't. But for now you've got to walk your path.
A buddy of mine had a WAS dump him. They didn't speak for a year. Then they started talking again (she reached out to him), then they started meeting for coffee, then dinner, just as friends. 2 years after she left they began being intimate again and have been in an R for about 6 months now. They just started talking about moving back in together. The point being that he did NOTHING to get back together, he moved on and left her alone and that's all it took.
