@ Sandi Any mental issues aside do you think that W right now is the same as any other WAW? or worse because of recent events or is that just part of this nightmare?
Remember when LovetheHub told you (when the subject of bi-polar came up)that she did the same things as your W? She sat in MC, agreeing to their faces but thinking of her plans with OM.
There are common things with WAW's, as is evident by reading the threads here on this board. All the things you've told us sounds like more of the same symptoms of a WAW, who is not ready to do what's required to restore the M. She's not ready to be a wife, period! She enjoys the excitement of new dates with the next new guy.
I know we only have your side of the story, but I see a great deal of selfishness and immaturity in her. She seems to have a lot of issues with what she expects from you, but she wants to do all the taking and no giving in return.
I would not say she is worse, due to resent events. You just happened to uncover one of the "events" (OM). Who knows what else she's kept from you. No, I wouldn't say she's made a turn for any worse than she was.....she just never really was in the place you thought you saw.
And, I said all of that putting any mental issues aside.
Take one day at a time, T. Don't make decisions about weeks to come. Take it slow. I think you may need a weekend to GAL and get your head cleared. Don't start worrying about Christmas and things along those lines. It gets you so messed up until you don't know what to think or feel. That is inviting trouble.
She has not had to keep two little kids all by herself, without you going down there to rescue her every week for 14 months? The next time you think she's reaching out, ask yourself if she's just wanting a babysitter. Sorry if I'm too blunt, but she just about makes me see sparks.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
