Living In The Now (La Deuxieme)

[RosaLinda]

Yes your DB wolf pack IS here Ruby, and ready to move in at your signal. And we're fierce, grrrrrrrr!

In answer to the fear post I certainly realize that fear is part of life. But what I am saying is to look at why it exists in areas of our lives and what we can do about it. Facing them down instead of ignoring the why is tough but I find that the pit in my stomach goes away. The hamsters stop running and I am truer. I only refuse to let fear move in.

My last great fear is letting H go completely. So this speaks to BD. I am getting there on my timeline. Takes a lot of work to get there. I was exploring this myself last night when I thought of H and massage girl. How he is not done and still loves her. If he goes back then that will be when I cut the ties. To give him clarity perhaps and to protect my heart. This is the only boundary I have.

Thanks for addressing the fear post Ruby. I guess that letting my H go completely is my greatest fear too, but it's being taken out of my hands in a week. Then I'll have a month to do the work at eliminating that stomach pit.

I truly do not believe that your H is in love with Massage Girl. Infatuated maybe, but true love? Nope. Their relationship is built on sand. You have been a life line and support for me Ruby. What would you tell me if I said I think my H loves the Russian Tramp? That their relationship is made of smoke and mirrors, not real at all, a temporary infatuation. Right? Same goes for your H and MG. It just seems to me (no vet by any means ) that your H is moving more towards you, a bit every week. It's easier to see from out here, reading all your posts and not having to live them!

I seem to remember you saying that your H gave you permission to smack him if he goes back?! Besides cutting the ties, I hope you take him up on that!