went2fast

[shouldistillhope]

Well, i guess i would say right now that my life is in a bit of chaos, but i have made some positive changes for myself. Obviously she saw things in me that she thought she couldn't live with any longer and i have addressed those issues but as far as making them for myself, i can't honestly say that i would have done anything different if it weren't for her to take notice.

All these changes we talk about are a direct result of the situations we have been thrust into. If our X's wouldn't have left us would any of us have been making these changes for ourselves? So my question is, are any of us making these changes for anything other than to have our X's take notice?

I know that some of the things i am doing differently are indeed to get her to take notice. They are also, on the other hand, being implemented for anyone else that may come along in the future.

So, for now, these changes she wanted to see all along are definitely being made in the hope that she notices. And whether she does or not, the changes will be permanent. I still want her back, and that is what i am hoping for as a goal.

But I still wonder if i should invite her to lunch, invite her to do things together as a family (something she wanted to do all along as well as going out on dates when we were married) or just sit back and wait. She definitely wanted someone to be there for her and take care of her and i don't feel like i can show her any of that if i just see her on the weekends when we exchange our boys.

If one of her biggest concerns was the fact that she wanted to be taken care of, how do i show her after divorce that i can do that? And how do i reassure her that i am willing to spend the rest of my life making up for the fact that i wasn't always there for her?