For the spouse who has Walked Away

[seventeen]

I have read bits of both books online and am waiting for my own copies of the books to arrive at the library. Wishing I'd found this goldmine back in Feb when we were still living in the same house!

My long-term goal is to be together again when both kids have graduated from high school--I've got seven years. I am a very patient person.

But I'm the one who moved out, and from what I've read here . . . that's not good. I should've stayed and started DBing him right after the bomb dropped. Instead, I begged and pleaded (first) and freaked out when he wouldn't stop seeing the OW. Maybe he would've left, anyway, eventually, but maybe not. I don't know. I only know I couldn't stand to live in that house with him, knowing he was with the OW every chance he got. I felt a powerful need to flee. So I fled. I regret that now, even though I AM much happier in my own house, and even the kids like it better here. We are a 5-minute walk from him, so they can go back and forth easily. They stay with him on the weekends, mostly.

I guess I can tell myself I did a MAJOR 180 by moving out and no longer being there to try (and fail) to please him. But I worry about the out-of-sight-out-of-mind thing. A lot.