Originally Posted By: ForeverYoung " I wonder how many of our spouses have, or will eventually have, any realization that "this is not him (her), this is all me.... " ? "
Been lurking, I'm Ambivalent. I was wondering on the " ..it's not you it' me " comment. I got a version of that , more like " I want it to be about me, I feel like I come second " and no ILYBNILWY but , I love you, but I don't feel desire. Same thing just verbalized differently in my O.
My H has realized he needs to work through things, and get his priorities and finances in order. Where in the MLC process is a person like this?
He started out , when under roof, snapping for silly things, blowing up, over nothing. Hiding and playing with friends. DB and moved out simultaneously. Now he has got a job again, one which is more of the caliber for his experience and years. He is no longer complaining of unhappiness and is friendly and somewhat affectionate. He still wants to "fix" things...for example: I totaled my car and he volunteered to come to court with me. Pursued it for a whole weekend and even showed up! Then afterwards steered conversation towards what kind of car did I want? Also the other day my phone was lost or stolen. Within 24 hours of us communicating this he had a new one delivered to me! And yesterday, he emailed me that it was coming and hoped I had fun at Swing dance Mon. night.
Soooo, not meaning to intrude, where are we? What is this about? Is this one of those small signs I should not overlook or what? Anyone have any clue? I'm just mirroring his behavior, and keeping everything on a light note, but very guarded.
When the come to realization that it is "about them" how much further is the journey? Anyone?
Formerly Workinprogress H :55 M :over 29 yrs. Together : 33 D : college D : adult BD and left : May 2013 Separated Experimenting/Replay
