Separated, D filed, possible emotional affair

[SM34]

MrBond, you are definitely right in that there is no quick fix.

The process of repairing a marriage is definitely a long process. I was just wanting to offer John a different perspective and help facilitate some different behavior.

Im seeing a lot of WAS looking back only when the other drops the rope so its important that we address the question of whether it is beneficial to tell the WAS things that make them believe they have an unlimited amount of time to mull it over.

The DB way of working in yourself and acting as if, is designed to make the WAS feel that you are moving on. This gets them to think and puts the pressure on for them to decide. I know this is not a ploy, believe me. I myself am a big fan of loving support of the WAS and through this I feel I am quite close to saving my marriage too.

But it took me a long time to get to a place where I felt I could move on. And at that point, my wife has been slowly tightening her grip on her side of the rope. So Im just trying to save John from drawing it out longer than it has to, and perhaps I am wrong (wouldnt be the first time lol) but I think the sooner you give the impression you MIGHT be liking the idea of moving on, the quicker your WAS might start the serious thinking.

Just my opinion.