Attraction, oxytocin, and limerence

[2ndtimearoundCA]

"I am not sure what you are pointing to when you say that I don't get it."

This thread started under the understanding that you were dating. In a way you were relating dating to being a way to get your spouse back like one would use some other external stimulus to "attract" your W back.

The whole point is that it doesn't matter what external ploy or product use/do to "attract" them back. If you, as a person, remain the same as before they will not come back regardless of what you use.

Jealousy may get them back to you (not all the time), but it's not a way to sustain a long lasting relationship. And working on yourself is the first thing you do before anything else.

I have dated others but not as a means to make my w jealous. I did it as part of detaching and moving on. I mentioned it because it potentially had the side-effect of making my w jealous.

I understand that in order to have a relationship that works in the future we need to make changes to ourselves that make us better partners.

I am wondering if dating others could potentially open the door to a second chance with the understanding that we need to make other changes for our relationships to work in the long run.

I didn't mean to focus this thread on dating others and jealousy. That is just one example of something that can lead to attraction.

I am currently dating my w and nobody else. I didn't mean for this thread to be about me. My situation is documented Here