Please elaborate on the LBS getting to decide in the end...this coming from an LBS whose wife has stated her intent to divorce a week ago.
T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old 7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile 7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile 8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers
Magic you decide your future. Not all of it but some. The LBS decides to remain stuck angry and unhappy, empty. Or to dream of a new life without wife or husband. See, they left us a long time ago. We just didn't see it. So it is your decision what your future life will look like excluding your spouse. It took me a long time to understand that. Yes I own 50% of why my M failed. But I own 100% of how I want to spend the rest of my life.
I know very well how it feels to have no say or control in a divorce. I remember that feeling all too well. It still hurts. But know this, it will get better much better. So start dreaming of a new life without W. imagine how that would look like. Feel the happiness. And maybe she will see the light and join you. Good luck my friend
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Bug, I hope that one day I can reach where you are. I am recognizing that I can be happy with myself and really don't need H to complete my happiness. I still struggle with expectations in that area. I am keeping a smile on my face and being happy (for the most part) around H.
Glad your IC has been so helpful to you. This is definitely an interesting time for you. Your words of wisdom have helped me so much over the past year.
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
Thanks everyone. It is an interesting journey and it's also fun. I can't say I have no expectations but those I have are manageable.
Starsky, thanks for the kind words. I've learned a lot about myself through you. Thanks for being in my path.
Magic Jack, Rick1963 is correct. Life may deal us a hand we didn't expect but we can still play it well. The choice is yours.
Rick, you know I love you and I was complimenting your art photos-Food with Bowtie-just yesterday.
Hopefulinga, you can get there but you can't do it with an anchor tied to your leg. I think I've said this before, Create YOUR life, be fearless.
GTO, first you have to figure out what it is you want. Stop all the running and get to know you, you might like you! I ran from me for a long time and when I eventually stopped, my life started to change. I found out I was likeable, even loveable. This change in me hasn't been easy, it's taken a lot of pain, and tears and reading and talking and thinking and quiet time alone. But as the song says, Wouldn't take nuthin' for my journey now!
And even tho this is secondary for me at this point, I know that H is reeling from the difference.
In fact, I may be too much for him.
And that's OK. As my IC said, I will keep me in the forefront.
Ruby and SD, just ((((( )))))
And now I need a new thread.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I ran from me for a long time and when I eventually stopped, my life started to change. I found out I was likeable, even loveable. This change in me hasn't been easy, it's taken a lot of pain, and tears and reading and talking and thinking and quiet time alone. But as the song says, Wouldn't take nuthin' for my journey now!
That is awesome!!! It is empowering to finally let go of the chains that shackle us. Funny thing is we so often view other people, situations or things as our own shackles when in reality we usually are our own worst enemy. Learning to love ourselves is crucial. Be authentic to who we are is tough, learning to slow down and listen to ourselves.
You can not change your past, but you can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future.
And even tho this is secondary for me at this point, I know that H is reeling from the difference.
In fact, I may be too much for him.
And that's OK. As my IC said, I will keep me in the forefront.
You are my rockstar.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
