Suckerpunch, moving ahead one way or another!

[swoop]

Here are my replies to your questions, 25. Again, I am not trying to argue with you. I am simply stating what I believe to be true in this instance. I respect your input GREATLY, but not always COMPLETELY.

So you wanted to bully or frighten her OM away and it failed...and turns out she has a legal argument. Seems to me she thought things out and raised some good points.

SP did you consider and reflect on ANY of what she said, or did you let your anger read the message for you?

I did not bully or frighten the OM. I've never spoken with him EVER. I've never sent him an email and never relayed a message to get back to him. I vented my frustration here, and I told wife he would not be allowed on my property. That is not what I consider bullying. It actually turns out that she has absolutely ZERO legal recourse. I verified that with the police, as well as my attorney during our meeting today. Seems to me that she doesn't have a leg to stand on, but seeks to start a whole lot of sh1t for very little reason. Why is it so important that OM comes to my backyard to socialize with his friends that he see numerous times in the course of a week? Take a day off or visit with them somewhere else. MY GAWD! This leads to the "reflection". I reflected on it alright. I believe it to be selfish, hurtful and disrespectful of her to even ASK, let alone push the issue by threatening me with legal aspects! That is what I reflected on, 25 and yes it did make me angry.

[Yes I agree with Love, that your w needs to move on but you have stubbornly refused to concede a single financial point about the settlement, right? What is your most recent "offer"? Nothing, still?

No I have conceded several things. My most recent offer was, half of my retirement, all of the money I have in the bank, reasonable child support and 1/2 of all our assets and belongings.

[You continue to believe her $28k direct contribution and being a sahm mom, caring for your d and being your wife were worthless, right? She "never worked", right?

No, I feel her contribution was equal to mine. Therefore, I want my 28k back as well. How do you feel I should approach her with this question? I mean fair is fair, right? I put a couple bucks into it as well. Where is my payoff? We worked together as a family unit for the benefit of us all. She worked as much as I did during our relationship, but in the end, we had nothing to show for it. Keep in mind,25, you and I are having a semantic argument here. I need to remind you that the house has no equity. THAT is the key factor here, not who it belongs to or what amount of effort or acknowledgment each party deserves for their efforts during the marriage. My family business is currently paying off the balance of 168k for the loan, on a house that has a market value of 155k. Don't you get that??????

What a horrible plan for her b/c in your eyes, if you two lived there for 24 more years and she personally put an addition on it, and or paid for it, you'd STILL say it was NONE of hers, right? It would still be YOUR family's, right?

Actually, the ownership, 24 years from now, would depend on what we did with it during that time. If we sold it, gave it away, let it go into foreclosure or signed it over to another party, I would say that it belonged to neither of us. If we owned it outright, I would say it belonged to us equally. We don't own it outright, so your scenario is purely speculative. The fact of OUR situation is, In the end the house is worth equal to what wife and I owe. The catcher is, the business owes a great deal more, because wife and I were allowed to pay on the house with no interest. The business paid the interest on a 168 dollar loan. Tell me how that is fair?....poor wife, right? My family really put the screws to her good, didn't they?

[What class are you taking? What NEW hobby do you have?
What organization or club did you join?
What new volunteer activities or campaigns are you working on?
What church group did you recently join?
What team did you join or coach?

What community theater did you volunteer to work with or audition for?
What NEW physical activity did you take up, that involved OTHER People?

What new friends have you made?

No new classes. One of my NEW hobbies is building and restoring Vintage bicycles. I didn't join any sanctioned organization, but I will be starting to attend a friends (newly acquainted) RC race track in the fall. I got involved with our Local High School Cheerleaders benefit auction. I am hosting seats and donating a benefit auction item, to support my daughter in mini cheer and give back to the community. I have not recently joined a church group, but a few months back I did. I spent once a week for 2 hours in a mens discussion group. I have not joined any new teams or groups. I am not an actor and have no interest in volunteering in theater. I started bicycling with friends this summer. I also got re-involved in motorcycles, and I have gone on a few rides with new friends. I recently met 6 people at a BBQ, one of which I am currently making plans with for this coming weekend. I also reconnected with someone I met for a very short time about 15 years ago. I would consider that a new friendship as well. Oh, and I also met a few new people while socializing with friends at a bar a few weeks ago. Not sure if that counts.