Separated, D filed, possible emotional affair

[SM34]

'incase we reconcile' means I will take you back whenever you want, regardless of what you have done with your spare time 'thinking'.

I recommend reading a book called 'womens infidelity'. The author is a woman and she maps out how these things play out...

1) wife loses interest in sex with husband
2) wife asks for space to think. Convinces husband it is what she needs if there is any hope if saving the marriage. Husband agrees because he wants to save the marriage.
3) wife separates, starts seeing the guy she has had her eye on all along
4) wife makes occasional moves to make sure husband is still waiting.
5) wife tries her best to maintain limbo..comfortable safe relationship with husband, wild Dirty sex with boyfriend
6) husband eventually moves on and wife ends marriage or affair.
7) wife regretts separating from husband, but usually it is too late because husband has moved on

So whether it is your plan or not, you will eventually be done with waiting, and you will show obvious signs of moving on. That is when the wife usually starts to back track

Lets leave working in yourself aside for a minute. We are all here to save our marriages. we.are mot the first husbands, and wont be the last husbands to have this exact scenario happen. it would be wise to consider prior experience of others when trying to save your marriage...

You can work in yourself (the favorite motto around here these days) until you are blue in the face. If your wife thinks you will wait, she will make you wait. then one day YOU will close the door FOREVER. the 'trick' if there.ever was one, is to force her to reconsider, BEFORE you get to the point where you are done.

MrBond may not agree with this, and that is ok because to each their own, as they say....

But I think many others on here will agree fully with this.

Sandi has said many times that a woman will not reconsider her actions until she suffers a loss in the marriage relationship.

My point in the previous post is simple. Dont give her the impression you will wait forever. Be loving, caring etc..of course. Just dont say things like when we reconcile, or if we reconcile etc.. Let her do the guessing of whether you are still open to that idea, or when you will have had enough.