BC39.....The fight for my marriage continues

[BC39]

One of my oldest and best friends just told me he and his W just separated. I've known and been close with his W since grade school. They've been together since they were 16 years old. 4 kids. She had a EA and wants out. Showing signs of MLC.

I would say "I'm shocked" but who knows these days. He's been going through this for a year. Same length as me, and we both didn't know each was going through it.

He couldn't believe W and I we're going through this. "Out of all the couples I know you guys would be last I thought..." Man, I've heard that before. I thought the same thing about them.

I'm so sad for him and so discouraged at the same time. What is happening??

I don't know whether to tell my W or not. On one hand I don't want this to validate her, but on the other hand she compares us to other couples who "have it", and I've always said "everyone has problems, you don't know what goes on".

Thoughts?