NEW LIFE / NEW ME

[Fartiltre]

I went to the hospital today and got examined by the doctors. I will have to go through surgery on sept. 19. This is good news exept I worry about the possible side effects.


I have had a nice afternoon after hospital working on my home – there’s a long way to go but it keeps getting more and more MY home and I like it!

XW1 called twice today! First time about some homework S10 didn’t do yesterday and she was mad. I told her that IMO when you are to sick to go to school then you are to sick to do homework aswell and then I told her not to direct her anger at him but at me if any! That cooled her down totally!
Second time this evening we talked for half an hour. S10 has been crying – he expresses sadness that he won’t see his sisters more than 3 days every two weeks. We talked about this and I told her that I will talk with S10 the upcoming weekend and also told her that I still need some time to figure out how I feel all of this should be handled to secure the children’s happiness in the best way. I told her that IMO I need to guard a rule about these weekends having at least one day where there’s no sports, no birthdays and so on otherwise these three children won’t get any time together. It was quite a nice talk but afterwards I have been thinking if I should have stated this.
XW1 also told me that S10 will stay the night at W in 10 days. She did ask me but I am having 15 guys visiting my home that day and night and it won’t be a place for 10 year olds.

Shortly after W called twice – I was busy and didn’t hear the phone but called her back. D6 picked up and asked if she could attend girlscout tomorrow. I was caught off guard and did a stupid, stupid thing – I said “I don’t know!” I should know better than leave a question like that unanswered! Later on I told her that we will go tomorrow and that we will talk about GS the following weekend but damage was done. D4 came on and then W for 2 seconds.
W called again later and told me that D6 had been crying and that she was sorry about me being caught off guard (before I mentioned anything!) Then she started chit-chatting. I tried several times to end the convo but didn’t manage to so it ended up lasting 10.33 min and I said almost nothing. She primarily talked about the Ds but also a little about a mutual friend that has gotten very ill.

So lessons of the day!
Strict plans for the children’s activities at least one week in advance
Practice on ending Ws chit-chats



SteveH and 2old

Thanks for looking in on me! I do hope that all the time and effort put into my sit by VETs and others can help – not just me – but a lot of LBHs. So when the two of you posts here it makes me glad!

You however seem to have a good handle on implementing a strategy once you understand what others are trying to say.

Thanks for these kinds words!
I try my best and hope you are right! When I get it I do feel I am able to implement it and even though Sandi might disagree I have felt this way from early on. I now know that I properly followed the wrong path and the reason for me to do that was that this path simply was the one I believed the most and that’s only due to LBH-fog!

The worst part is I dont understand why I still let the emotions get the best of me.

I have been guilty of this and so have almost all LBH – if not every single one! It’s not about if it happens because it will over and over for a long time – it’s about what you do when it happen and I try to follow the rule of doing absolutely nothing when I carry my feelings on the outside. The 48 hour rule is also a dear friend of mine!

There has to be something to let me start walking like a man again and let me really detach....

IMHO only one thing – YOU! Don’t even think about detaching for real right now – you will have to fake it! Get your emotions and thereby yourself under control – that should be your first step! Start by focusing on you by:
Exercising
Gaining knowledge about the WAS and your situation
Changing your looks and your surroundings
GAL and focus on meeting NEW people or taking up old friendships
…and then stick to Sandi2s rules: they will keep you on the right path if you follow them!

Stay strong and live your life healthy. I will be trying as well as it seems my situation is slowly following your path.

I am not up to speed on your sit but if you do believe you are going down the same track then do be aware of not misinterpreting signals from your W. If you have read my threads (and spend the week it takes) you will know that my W did so many nice things and acted very pleasant, but still moved out!

Be strong! I wish you guys all the best!

F