Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

Hi TT:

Thanks for responding. This is so helpful and motivating when I get these reponses. At this point, it's my only outlet to talk about my situation with everyday people.

I really need to committ to accepting that my W is truely blind in a hormone/chemically induced "fantasy world" right now. It makes good sense, but often, my reality conflicts with that state of mind. Some things I read say it can last a few months, 6 months or up to 4 years! That last one is tough to swallow.

I'm trying to stay committed to the no confrontation(for the immediate future)school of thought. I guess it's just my wishful thinking that by confronting now, she'll snap out of it, but I'm realizing that's highly unlikely at this point.

I really need to get down to some serious and consistent action of GAL and self improvements. You asked if setting goals and working hard and accomplishing them is something I would like as my strong suit or if it was something I thought W wants. It's something my W finds attractive. At the same time, it's not a bad quality to have. But I like your other suggestions: improve on things that were going well when we were happy. What did attract her to me? Overcome some bad habits.

I tend to collect and hold onto alot of crap. Maybe I should begin thinning that out. I know my W hates all the stuff I have taking up space and I don't "need" most of it.

There is a shed I could finish, painting that needs done. I'd also like to kayak the river in our area. W and I used to enjoy that. Haven't done it since the kids came along. Do these sound like a good start?

Thanks TT!