Acting "as if" is to act as if you accept their decision to D. This usually slows down the D process because the WAS feels they are getting what they want. It also helps you in terms of detaching and understanding that you cannot control another person into believing what you believe.
Go back and read the book.
Actually, you're both wrong. Acting as-if is mainly about acting as if you expect a positive reaction or outcome from your wayward/walkaway spouse.
