I am trying to create the image in my head of what I want my life to look like when im done with this......That will be my "normal".
That is why goal setting is so important- How will we get to the place we want to be? Since we have all this time on our hands how can we use it productively to help us achieve our goals?
If we agree that we need to give our spouses room, ask no questions, dont snoop, dont pressure and dont beg.....then we will have time.
Right now we have so many things in our life that we dont have direct control over. Thats why its so important to create a goal list of ONLY items we have 100% control over. Is it running 4x a week for 1hr? you either do it or dont.
Is your goal to get a new job? goal should be to send x number of resumes a week. How about to do 100 pushups a day 5x a week within 90 days.
Save $1000 in a emergency acct?
Loved ones and buddies and IC's all want to see your pain go away. When I told my mother what im trying to do she called me a "Patsy" and asked why would I take someone back who walked all over me?
It took me a long time to come up with the answer that was different from what I was feeling in the beginning.....In the beginning I admit it was to save face and because it seemed easier then starting over.
Now its VERY different. I want to do everything in my power to save our marriage because my family deserves it. I WILL NOT be the single 60 YO still in love with my wife but I ruined it because i was vengeful and spiteful in the beginning. Im doing this 100% until she signs the papers. That is the point, in my mind, when I need to do something different.
If I find myself at that point I will be a VERY different, much improved person then when the bomb dropped........
ME 38 W 37 T18 M5 D3 BD 1/7/13 PA Conf 2/11/13- Ongoing 2nd simultaneous affair Confirmed 4/19/13 W gets APT and begins transition out 5/29/13 First mediation appt 12/19/13
