I have failed to mention before that I have a LOT of people praying for me. I want to give credit where credit is due. I believe the methods describe here can work, depending on the situation, but sometimes God gives a little extra boost! wink W exhibits all of the classic signs/symptoms that are listed here, but her changes seem to be accelerating on a much faster pace than I normally see here. I'm not going to allow small improvements to turn into giddy unrealistic hopes, but I am going to note them.

She and I had talked about "going dark" (I didn't use that term). She was in agreement with me that right now we're so at odds the communication is exhausting. I'll be honest: to have your W agree with you rather than just "going dark" on your own seems like a better thing to me. From my viewpoint, and in my situation, W seemed relieved that I was choosing to give her space and let her think, and was thankful for my consideration. Maybe not everyone is in my situation, though.

I did have one interesting exchange. Some background: during some of the bigger arguments during our separation, we have at times forbidden our kids to see the other person. It's childish, selfish, and ridiculous; I'm particularly ashamed of this behavior for both of us.

I found out W had talked to D13 and told her she and S11 were welcome to come to her new apartment any time they wanted; was very nice to them, and I told W that I thought it was a great idea. I apologized to her for the times I had said anything about forbidding them to see her because I was angry at her, and told her that I wanted them to have a good relationship so if we ever reconciled, there wouldn't be any ugliness between them.

Of course, the last two weeks, W would have RANTED that we weren't getting back together, etc, but she simply responded that was the reason she bought full-size beds instead of twins - for sleepovers and stuff. I said, "Cool", and left it.

I'm learning quickly and sometimes painfully when there is a positive interaction, to just end that conversation right on that spot if at all possible. It seems like every time I do, the next interaction is slightly easier and more positive. Obviously, just because W didn't attack me for talking about reconciliation doesn't mean anything's changed - but I'd rather be standing still than taking 2 steps backward!