Blowing in the wind....

[RosaLinda]

Thanks so much Betsey, I AM happy with my choice to stand, and know that it is what I need to do right now. At the end of the day, I will be able to look myself in the double vision eye and know that I truly tried, gave it all I could. Maybe someone else would have done better, been stronger or more of a natural at this, but I'm okay. I AM happy! In general. I think I am doing great with "letting go" and not as great with detaching, but I'm getting there, and am so much happier and at peace with everything going on. I might burst into singing "Que sera sera" any moment! No joke!

I realize that I made a mistake as soon as I gripe to someone out of our circle. I've made resolutions not to tell people what is going on many times, and will continue to try. I'm just such a blabbermouth, it all comes tumbling out!

Thanks for this Ellie: "One little thing that the book does not address - if your H SPEAKS Acts of Service, odds are that his RECEIVING language is Words of Affirmation (most of us DO acts of service in order to HEAR those words of affirmation "Oh honey, thanks for detailing my car, you are awesome!")."

That makes perfect sense. I am sort of doing that naturally, being grateful, but now that I have read LL, will make a greater effort to speak those words of affirmation. I know they are SO important to my H. Thank you!!

Nero, I'm glad you recognize this about your H too. Did you read that book? You can read articles about LL online and take an online quiz too. It helped me so much to realize that not everyone in the world loves hugs! Sixty years old and just learned that! STupid! But see, H is showing you that he loves you in many ways. Now you need to step up to the plate and give him those words of affirmation letting him know how much you respect him and how grateful you are. WHEN you are I mean, don't be phoney about it.

"i just remember allllll the good things - so far they outweigh this huge huge BAD thing."

Yes -- they do. I'm glad you describe yourself as unashamedly loyal "even in the face of disbelieving friends and f'ing judgemental and demanding relatives." We can only be ourselves. I keep my Plan B (same as yours -- "you can always leave tomorrow") in the back of my mind, and as Forever says, it helps me to stand longer. But I keep it way in the back, I do not think about it constantly. Remeember the good things Nero, that will help you!

I hope your mom feels better soon, and your sister gets off your poor sore back. You have a lot going on in your sitch besides your H, give yourself a break my friend!