As another update, I spoke with a DB coach today. I do have problems with anger and trying to control her life, and right now the only thing I can do is let her do this and let this process happen. She wants to divorce quickly and she would probably expect me to stall this out, so that's not what I am going to do. I am not going to give it the full 90 days to see if she changes her mind before I sign it. I will just sign and let her move it ahead on her terms.

I have also dismissed her feelings over the years in a number of areas.

In a way it was good to see where I messed up here.

I had previously told her I wouldn't want to be friends after this, but the DB coach told me I should. She isn't with anyone now and I think she broke it off with the guy she was having the EA with back in June/early July.

My only hope is that by being friends in the future maybe I can be the kind of man who draws her back.

Even if it never works out between us again, I need to change to be a better person anyway.

T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old
7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile
7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile
8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers