Closer to Fine

[labug]

Thanks T, K_g and SD, I've learned something from all of you.

Had my IC appt yesterday and I told her that H was showing interest. SD, you'll appreciate this, her comment: Let it unfold if you want, enjoy it, explore but think, "Isn't this interesting?" No lie!

This woman (my IC) appeared in my life at just the right time, I am so grateful for her. Her other advice was to keep myself at the center of my thoughts and actions, not to be selfish but to protect my self worth. Great advice for me, as if you give me an inch I can take a mile and I could be controlling things once again. In subtle ways of course but it's still controlling.

T, to your questions, has time healed old wounds? For me, yes, that's a part of it but I am a very different person. I see the world and R in a whole new light, a more adult light. I can be happy on my own, I don't need constant validation, I see how we each hurt the other because of our unmet needs.

I can't really speak for him, we haven't gotten to the point of talking about this. But we all need to get far enough beyond the pain to be able to look at things objectively. But you have to acknowledge the hurt and then let it go.

It does feel like a different R. I'm different, so he's different in response to that. (just like it says in DB) If things go forward, I know we will have things we need to work through but I don't want to bring the past with me. It's over, I want to look forward and face things as they happen with new tools.

It's all very interesting.