Wife just filed for divorce...furious and hates me

[MagicJack]

I met with our former marriage counselor yesterday. She had been to him a few times on her own (well, with her mother), and only twice with me before declaring she never wanted to go again. I told him what happened and he said she wasn't making a rational decision and was treating this like high school (we're 28). He also told me that he had a more direct approach to telling people what was going on and what they needed to do to change, and that she had not wanted to change and instead had a habit of shifting blame, wanting to be the victim, and using lies and manipulation to get her way. He said things might turn around, but she would need a lot of help before we got together, and we shouldn't be friends if we weren't together. He said her relationship with her parents was unhealthy and that they could be part of the problem.

I talked to her a little Sunday night and after some texting she called me and seemed depressed and resigned that our differences were too great and that the straw that broke the camel's back was an argument we got into a little over a week ago. I listened and tried to validate, and when I tried to apologize for the argument she said she needed a break and said goodbye. I tried texting her to say I wish I could go back in time a week and do it over, and she texted me "stop". That was Sunday. It's now Tuesday and neither of us have contacted the other. I think she has the morning off today and she is going to probably go to the attorney to review the divorce paperwork and have it sent to me.

Her personality is that she has a lot of anxiety (she is taking Lorazepam for this and I heard the stuff worsens depression, which she has, making her think this is even more hopeless). She is really trying to rush this process as quickly as possible. Her personality is that she is really good at managing projects and very fast with getting things done. Part of this is her anxiety, and how unsettled she feels if she doesn't do something right away. I think she is going to divorce me as fast as possible, and as long as she is busy and moving she won't have to think about this. She has told me before she can't stand being alone, and I think if she ever gets off the meds and has to spend time by herself she is going to start possibly regretting this. Right now this probably feels like a novel experience and liberating to her. Will that feeling last?

She might also be still talking to the guy she had an EA with. No clue here.

At this point though I wouldn't want to take her back unless she could get help for her own problems, since I feel like we would just wind up back in this situation again fighting. Still, I set up an appointment with a DB coach today. Will update after that.