Ruby, I share some of the same feelings as Wonka. It seems like when his GF problems arise, he comes back and talks vaguely about R. You sound like you know that you need to figure out what YOU want out of life.
I heard a good quote tonight - Life is a hyphen. Live it to its fullest. What's the hyphen? Think about what you seen on a tombstone. We live in the hyphen.
Anything going on with SE2?
M44 H57 D17 (special needs) M 18 yrs Bomb 7/2/12 Still living together
Thanks everybody...I have the same feelings as Wonka, so I know where everyone is coming from
AS, I have mentioned to Turtle that I am so sure our H's are related....scary sometimes how parallel our paths are (even more so if you knew us in RL)
Saw H tonight and checked his phone while he was away (something I haven't done in ages and ages). He called me on it. I lied, then confessed that I did. This just after we talked about how he lies a lot even by omission. Guess I blew that one lol. I apologized sincerely, as I know my snooping was an issue before. He said actually he understood because I see Massage girl as competition. I said true. He said he would have looked at my phone, but I have a code....
I also told him that he is in love and while I wish it were me, it's not. He said I don't know what it is, just that I am not done yet, with her or with you. He also everyone is basically telling him he doesn't see what is in front of him (me). But I said everyone is not a good enough reason to start a relationship with me.
He said I know, that is why I am not. He also admits he cannot trust me in the sense that he cannot go back to us just yet because the old dynamic is still so fresh and he is scared.
But he also has said he has loved only two people in his life, one of them me (the other massage girl)
Rant- really??? After nine months this is the love of your life??? The woman whom you texted and said if I had met you before Ruby I would have married you?
I basically put my cards on the table, but after his few beers, who knows if he will remember...I said not only do I love him, I am in love with him, that I didn't know about need, but I want someone to stand with me, beside me and share my life. Someone who will love me, good and bad.
H says he needs to give, needs to be needed in a relationship, that after the first ten years of our marriage after I became accustomed and expected our level of living, I didn't need him anymore, so he felt useless.
He also thought that I had been having affairs all our marriage...I assured him it never crossed my mind (it didn't)
I aslo told him that I get jealous etc., but would never stand in the way of something that would make him truly happy.
I also told him that this was the first time in my life that I did not have the upperhand in a relationship. That I was giving without the expectation of anything in return. That it was scary and exhilarating all at the same time.
Am I the booty call or the safety blanket between GFs? Probably, but I also know sex can be a strong bond? Do I ascribe any emotion to it? For me not really, which is kind of weird, but probably because I am still in love, yet it doesn't make me think we are any closer to being together.
H corrected himself several times tonight to say "still married" or "wife"when ex wife or past tense of married came up.
exNGF came over, apparently to drop off some stuff of H's. He apparently gave her what for for going back to creepy weird call my wife and threaten her H boyfriend. Now exGF has admitted she doesn't love creepy guy, but better the devil she knows. H said, on topic of creepy guy, better make sure he never shows up at the house, Ruby would take a baseball bat to his head.
Well, exGF exploded...Ruby, Ruby, all you ever talk about. What's it got to do with her? H is like "Ummm, creepy guy called her HOUSE."
So....H loves me, I am his best friend, but he is IN love with Massage girl. Massage girl has new boyfriend she lives with. New girlfriend now old girlfriend and H still wandering around like a lost puppy.
I am off to write for NBC...you cannot, I repeat, cannot make this sh*t up.
