I feel totally confused and crushed right now. Last night our daughter feel asleep on my wife's bed so I slept in my daughter's room. At around 4 am my wife calls my cell phone and tells me to come to the room because her back hurts. So I put a heat pad on it and then she made some room so I can sleep on the bed. I actually held her all last night. It was night.
All of this^^^ was good! THEN you blew it by snooping! You gained nothing!
She wants to love you but is attracted to the OM But does not trust your changes. Instead of being more motivated, now you want to quit??
STOP SNOOPING! It's getting to be a real compulsion of yours and you need it to stop!
I later did some snooping (I know, I shouldn't be doing that) and the OM was texting her kisses. My wife responded that friends shouldn't be kissing and that they need to just be friends. She then told him that it is so hard just to be friends and that once she starts kissing him she just can't stop. Arr......
Be glad she only wants to be friends. This could be so much worse. And it will be if you keep snooping and putting yourself on a roller coaster.
This is self inflicted crazy making mood swings you put yourself on!
Earlier today my wife was telling me that we need to take a family photo together and that we need to get her wedding band traded up (the place we brought it from allows you to trade it in for the same amount that you paid as long as you pay 20% more than the original item). We spent most of the day running errands.
Right now she just left the house to have coffee with OM. I am just hurt.
Wow. I mean on one hand I totally get it. It does hurt. Otoh, I am detached enough to want to shake some sense into you. She wants a future WITH YOU!
Don't make her regret that. And she will if you revert.
Sounds like you want to be your old nasty self and this time blame it all on her...is that it? Man I hope I am wrong.
Even though she called me at 4 am, she was texting this guy from 2:30a to 4 am right before she called me.
THEN she called YOU! She wants reassurance from you. You are your own worst enemy. Yes SHE IS CONFUSED! Now is Not the time for your waffling & moaning and Not being stable.
BE ROCK STEADY IN KNOWING YOU ARE THE MAN SHE NEEDS FOR LIFE, Because if you don't KNOW THAT BY NOW, HOW CAN SHE?
What do YOU want? To wallow?
I am being direct and blunt because I don't think I will get thru to you fast enough if I am not blunt.
Just when I think I am making progress she continues to run and seek this guy first.
What matters is who she ends up with...
When I found out she was having coffee with OM (she continues to talk to him in the bathroom and sometimes I can hear both sides of the conversation), I just felt like crap. As soon as she left I started to cry and almost threw up. It hurts to think that my wife does not desire me, does not want me, would rather be with OM than her own husband.
You must have heard a totally different conversation, or you are being a negative glass is half empty type. I did NOT hear her say she prefers him!
Stop the stinking thinking!
I think things are getting better but I feel like I am fooling myself. This is so hard. I know I have to get a grip and act normal when she comes home. Days like this I just want to confront her and bare my soul. I want more than anything for our family and marriage to be restored.
Fine^^^^ to this, but then below, you begin to spiral negatively, and that's not helping your situation at all.
I hate OM. I hate that even when my wife is trying to break away he is able to seduce her. I hate that she refuses to take a stand for our marriage and tell OM enough is enough. I want my wife to love me, to want to be with me. To really commit to making the marriage work. $%*# scream. Grrr...$%*#
Had to vent. Really down.
Pick yourself up and see a C soon. Did you hire a DB Coach?
They are very good, and much cheaper than a divorce.
There IS hope. Hang in there. Your anniversary plans sound good. How about dancing? Or a show or play?
Maybe lose the rose petals unless she has mentioned them before. It will be too much pressure. Also mention your d and gratitude for her AND or getting the chance to become the man you always wanted to be...
And above all, Stop the Stinking thinking! It brings you down way too much and darkens your view, and where I see light, you seem blind.
Make sense? Good luck!
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M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
