"Her LL is words of affirmation?. You already knew W was an achiever through her 6 figure salary. However, when you say she likes to set goals and attain them which is not your strong suit, what do you mean by this? i.e. is she the main provider and leader in the household? If so you may have some work to do here on your alpha side."
What I meant by this is not my strong suit, is that I struggle with self-esteem, self confidence and how I measure up to others. I compensate for this by challenging everything, criticising, judging and controlling. In addition, I've never been very goal oriented. I seem to be a minimum man or the easy way is best. Work smart, not hard. But I think my wife is impressed by those who set a goal and work their tail off, overccoming obstacles until they achieve.
She was the main provider for the first 6 years of our marriage, until she lost her career. As for her being the leader, I don't know. She is a visionary, always coming up with ideas and suggestions. For example, she would frequently come up with improvement projects around our house. Then I was the one to do most of the work and it challenged me.
My first response to most of her ideas was: "That's too hard". "I can't do that". "How can I do that"? Most times, I would get through the project and it would look great! She would be impressed, but I continued to challenge her suggestions. She would plead with me, "can't you just say, OK!? Just once?"
I wouldn't say I have a picture of the man I want to be yet. I do know that I want to approach situations and people differently.
I want to work on patience, confidence, being consciencious, being non-judgemental or critical and accept others for who they are. That is my focus. I need to meet more people. I've been tucked away from society for a while, dealing with our situation where she worked all the time and I was home with the kids evenings and every weekend for the past 2 years.
Lots of work to do. Thanks again and I'll keep posting.
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
