If W contacts me to tell me what happened, what should I do?
When I talk to W about her cancer treatments and how she is I do the "friendly neighbor" thing. I ask questions, make lots of eye contact, but I don't drill down too deep into what's going on if that makes sense. I let her lead the convo, sometimes she's chatty and other times I just get brief responses to my questions. I don't particularly care which way she goes on that, if she's chatty I'll listen but if she's brief then I don't keep asking questions, I find something else to do.
Quote:
W: Eta? Me: I've dropped them off. (After dropping them off) W: At my mothers? Me: Yes, where else? W: What time did you leave them? Me: Just now. W: Why so early? Me: No reason W: Well in future can we keep it to 5pm? I'll head round and get them. Me: Sometimes it can be.
You're pushing each other's buttons. You could have defused things by saying "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you wanted me to drop them off at an exact time. Can we agree to some leeway since we can't predict traffic, say between 4:30 and 5:30?" Don't let her drag you into the mud, instead you try to pull her out of it.
Coparenting requires constant negotiating. You ARE going to need favors from her in the future, and she will likewise need favors from you. I know there's a lot of anger/ bitterness over what she's done to you recently (and I totally sympathize with you there, she really hasn't been fair to you at all), but try to wear a different hat when it comes to your kids, be the negotiator instead of the wronged husband.
