Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

Wow TooTrusting!! Thank you! I'm so glad you responded to these posts. I really struggle with all these thoughts because most of the posts I see from others are after an A has been revealed by some means.

You have helped make it a little more clear to me about better ways to approach this. Basically, I'm hearing that confronting her outright with the specifc knowledge is aggressive and controlling, perpetuating any opinions she may have of me.

You mentioned that she may be telling him things that are not necessarily her true intention? I have seen in previous texts and emails between them that she does lie to him about some details. Especially about me.

Your point about W living in a dream world and needing to get to reality on her own is interesting. I must admit, it's been embarrassing to read some of their text/email exchanges. They're very childish exchanges, blindly making all encompassing statements about "forever" and how much love they have for each other, when in reality, it's been a relatively short time to be making end-all statements like that.

What do you make of it?

I like your suggestion of sharing with her my committment to get help and work on myself for me, kids and her and including a concern of why she's working late, because I'd really like to work on our relationship and spend more time together as a family in the evenings.

I'm really going to think about these suggestions TooTrusting. This is exactly what I 've been looking for with regard to getting some feedback from others who have been through dealing with an A.

What was the process in your situation? Was is revealed to you? Did you find out on your own and DB? I'd love to get moere details if you're willing.

thanks again.