Newcomer's brief summary

[doubledown]

Thanks for your response and supportive words JonF!

I think my "patience and grace" are possible because ultimately, I realize that my other option is to react emotionally like many have in this situation. I don't think that's the most productive route and would probably be cause for a quick exit from W.

I realize that I do not know what the future holds, but it's so difficult to think about the past 12 years being chucked aside by W and not valued at all! Our two boys WILL be damaged. My W is selfishly making choices that will affect four people and damage the rest of their lives. The worst part is that 3 of those 4 have no say in the matter. That hurts.

I just don't understand how a person will not take responsibilty for their committments. Everyone makes mistakes and has shortcomings. Who is one person to determine that there are no more chances? And the penalty is your family is broken up and taken from you.

To think of all the physically abused spouses out there, addicted spouses, and those who truely hurt each other who seem to work through their problems. But then there's people like me who are held to a different standard. W doesn't feel in love with me and has withheld her love and intimacy for years, so I lose my family with no questions asked?

AHHHH!