Had an interesting conversation today with a couple in my church. H left his W for another woman and was gone two years; they've now reconciled and been back together 5 years, and are so lovey it's almost gross!
Great story! I was listening to a financial advice show the other day and a guy called in who was divorced for 2 years before they got back together. I have heard so many similar stories since my sitch started, and 2 years is the most common number I've heard in time that it takes for the WAS to come back. I wish there was more solid data on this so people could go into DB'ing with realistic expectations. I know I was expecting things to turn around in weeks and I think a lot of others expect that too. Many marriages never reconcile because after 2 years the LBS has walled themselves off to the WAS. It seems like 6 months to a year is about as long as most LBS's are willing to stand, but rarely does a WAS clear the fog that quickly. I think if LBS's were more patient that many more marriages would reconcile.
I think the older, more established you are, the easier it would be to wait for WAS to come around.
As for me, I'm 30, no kids.... 2 years can be a long wait for me at this period in my life. I could move on, find someone else and have the family and children I want before 35. Where as if I wait for H for come around in 2 years, I'll be 32, probably would need time to learn to trust that he wouldn't bail out before even considering having a child. May not ever have one at that rate. So yeah, it depends on age and where you are in life IMO.
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
