New and need encouragement

[Not Quitting]

Thanks CP for dropping by my thread.

S13 and I had a great weekend for the most part. Saturday was pool party with some coworkers - ladies and kids only. Sunday we went to the water park. As expected H texted on Friday to say he wasn't going to be around on Sunday. I'd already decided we were going to the waterpark regardless, and I told H that when he cancelled his Sunday visit. The weather was great both days so being around water was really nice. I'm finding that S13 isn't so bothered by H not showing up, as long as we have an alternative planned.

The biggest problem we're both facing right now is my dad. I'm sure he means well but often it's more like interfering. I had to ask him yesterday not to discipline my son when I'm home. It's a different matter if he's looking after him because I'm at work but definitely shouldn't happen when I'm home. I really wish I had the finances to get out and rent somewhere for us so that I don't have to rely on my dad providing a roof over our heads. The combination of living with my dad and the problems in our M is starting to stress my son. Hopefully it's just bad at the moment because he's off school so home with his grandad all day. I'm going to keep an eye on things and see if they improve after next week when school's back. I'm also going to try and keep S13 otherwise occupied evenings and weekends as much as possible to try and limit the amount of time he's around my dad - give them both a break.

It doesn't help knowing that some of the problems H sees in our M relate to us living with my dad. Whether H is just being paranoid because of his PTSD or whether it's really happening I don't know, but H keeps saying that dad has been snooping through our things, trying to check into our financials and generally interfering in our lives. It's true that we had very little privacy unless we shut ourselves away in our room or went out and dad did, and still does, keep providing his opinion on just about everything, but I don't know what to believe about the snooping. I'm not even sure how to approach my dad about anything. I mean, how do you tell your parent to keep their nose out without being disrepectful, especially when we're staying there rent-free?

There's not a lot I can do about that right now. I've assured S13 that I'm trying to find a better paying job so that I can afford to rent somewhere. We're going to have to do that next year anyway as dad wants to sell and move to a much smaller town, about an hour away. I've already decided that I'm not prepared to move that far from where we live now as S13's friends and his extra-curricular activities would all be disrupted, and he's already had enough disruption in his life. He needs some stability. I also don't want to commute that far and there's not much work available where he wants to move.