You hit the nail on the head! I have two school's of thought in contrast. My DB coach suggesting waiting a couple months so I could do DB and 180's. There's been no indication my W has noticed. And my therapist saying do it now to put it in W's lap so she needs to make a choice before it progresses even further.
I wasn't aware that MWD is against confronting the spouse. I thought I read that the LRT was an optiion after the affair was revealed and the WAS refused to end it. No?
I realize it's my choice and I do have to live with the consequences, that's why I'm trying to get feedback from as many people as I can who have confronted their WAS with the knowledge of the A and want to know their outcomes.
I will re-read Sandi's post. I would like your opinion as well. It all helps!
I'm thinking that if I confront her prior to her just telling me that she's unhappy in our marriage and that she's leaving, I will be able to put the onus on her.
Leaving a marriage is one thing, but leaving for another person that you are sexualy involved with while your married and have two small children at home is going to put the pressure on her because she'll have to think about how all the people we know, including family, will react.
Per MWD and Sandi's suggestion, I would never divulge that information to family or friends, but my W doesn't know that.
That's what I'm thinkg. Thoughts?
Vince B M=10 yrs T=13 yrs M45 / H 44 2 Boys 5 & 8 D Day: 7/16/13
