You have a lot of insightful thoughts going on right now. Your R with your H is causing his inability to keep R with OW- Haha, sorry but that is the whole reason why H keeps stumbling...he knows he can't let go of you & so you infiltrate his R's. It's not about what YOU are doing, it's about his journey. And whether you are present or not he knows you are there.
And, knowing you it would be VERY HARD for you not to be. But, if you feel you need to move apart--really give him space and YOURSELF space then that's what you need to do. This may definitely change the dynamics...just do what you think you need to do. (((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.