Most of you know, I've been pretty sanguine about my ex in the past, even going so far as to genuinely feel I wished him well in his new marriage, and hoping she would care for him in his old age.
As many of you know, I have been the sole support of my three adult mentally ill children for the past year, and additionally solely responsible for a very large unexpected bill ($30,000) involving one of them. My ex has not contributed because as soon as they were not in college, his legal obligation ceased and apparently he felt no moral obligation.
Have just learned from one son that when he approached his father for some financial help, he was told that since his dad was paying ME alimony, that he WAS contributing to the kids and wouldn't contribute more!
First of all - alimony is to even things up a little from the fact that I completely mommy tracked my career during our marriage so that the kids and he would be taken care of while he excelled at his career. It has nothing whatsoever to do with child support. My ex makes three to four times as much money as I do, and will pay alimony for only 10 years (after a 24 year marriage). I work full time and very long hours. I will struggle to reach a financially secure retirement, and SHOULD be putting that alimony money towards securing that.
Second of all - the alimony he does pay me doesn't begin to cover all the kid expenses of these last couple of years. NOT even close.
Bad enough that he hasn't been contributing, but to then suggest to the kids that I can afford to pay because he's paying me alimony? Seriously????
