//Christians are supposed to keep each other accountable when it comes to their relationship with God. That should be the approach they are taking.//
We do not live in a small town. My W drives past a half dozen churches to get to ours. I am very active, she hardly attends. She just needs to find a different church. She can find God in lots of other places. The elders took the time to sit down with her, and to talk about her relationship with God. She rejected their counsil. I do care about her soul. I am not sure how ignoring what she is doing helps her with her relationship with god.
// an opportunity// There is no opportunity. We are not reconciling. We need to seperate and get divorced. She is nowhere near ready to commit to a marriage and I can't live like this any longer.
//How so?// She needs the freedom to persue her life, and I need to move forward with mine. She considers herself single, I consider myself married. This creates a natural conflict. When she is talking to men, or going out on dates, it is incredibly hurtful. She needs the freedom to persue her life, and I need the seperation to get away from the life she is persuing. With seperation, and time, I think our relationship will improve.
//What does forgiveness look like to you? // It means that the anger and resentment that I am currently harboring is gone. It means that I am able to go an hour, a morning, or a day without thinking about the hurt she has caused me. It means being able to openly talk to her again without the conversation degrading into an argument. It means having a civil, considerate relationship.
//If your w could go and have a nice time with you - would that be acceptable? // Yes. But she has shown tat she can't. She is completely inconsiderate of my feelings. She thinks nothing about talking to, or texting men openly. She has no inhibitions about taking men around my children or to church. She is downright rude to me. If she was considerate, then I wouldn't need the boundary. Asking her to find a different church is not a punishment, it is to protect my emotions.
//What do you mean by that? // I am an emotional, sensitive person. My W has no sensitivity. The two don't mix. I need boundaries. She is constantly hurting me, and often, I don't even think she realizes it.
What is so wrong with her finding a different church, or taking the girls camping on her own without me. Why is this such an issue?
