"I still believed I could reach her and A pastor and her D both agreed I should try to. So I did and it obviously backfired. "

So when are you going to start DBing and STOP listening to others who don't know what's going on?

"So its going to come up again because of me."

Why? Just keep your mouth shut and stop bringing it up. You have a choice on that.

"the longer she takes to get back to me with also indicates she is getting the facts of proceeding."

Really? Are you psychic? Do you know for sure? Stop mindreading what she is or isn't doing. All you'll do is drive yourself crazy.

"Seems I cant back her out of this now even by going dark about divorce..."

How do you know? You haven't done any of the DB approaches which is why you're failing.

M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER