Nice step outside your comfort zone. I also had a thought similar to Ad's.
You mention W's previous BFs. I want to remind you that there is nothing about you that is less attractive in any way. The ONLY thing that they had that you do not right now is self confidence. And that is within your control.
I'm looking forward to hearing tomorrow's new ending to the sentence, "I choose ..."
Another possible strategy: Instead of proposing something for the whole family (which W will likely refuse, thereby killing the activity and leaving the kids available so she can then do things with them...), propose something with the kids (one or both). You can then tell W (or not) that she's welcome to join if she likes. But really, no big deal. Enjoy the kids.
