As an update, while moving my stuff out I talked to the landlady today at our old apartment who said my W called to vent to her. My W was really upset and apparently quite emotional with my landlady and told her I have 90 days to sign the papers for divorce, but maybe I could change before that.
My W told the landlady I was emotionally abusive (I swore at her during an argument which I already apologized for), and my W also told the landlady that I never took her anywhere to do anything, and that I took too long to pick her up from the hospital when she was sick recently (she called me at 5:30 a.m. and she at first told me she had another ride back from her parents but they wound up not showing so I picked her up 45 minutes later). My W said that her parents saw how upset my W was from the way I treated her and wanted her to D me.
The landlady said my W didn't feel loved by me and wanted more attention, etc. The landlady suggested I call my W and send flowers to her parents' house. I did send my wife a few text messages that were light and cheerful (a reference to our cats and I told her to have a nice day), following it with a question about a dresser, and she sent me back just "No to the dresser". I am trying not to bother her too much but at the same time if she is telling people I don't pay her much attention what am I supposed to do? Unless she is trying to play the victim to the landlady. A separate counselor I had told me my wife uses other people to try to manipulate me. My gut reaction is to call her out for telling the landlady that I am emotionally abusive and she is now also "afraid of me" because I drowned her cell phone in the sink when I found out about her EA.
T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old 7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile 7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile 8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers
