I don't know...I may be weird but I consider you to have the upper hand with your wife still at home and thinking youre oblivious to her A.
On my anniversary, this past May, my H was hundreds of miles away. What did I get from him that day.... a "happy anniversary text" that was all......not even a phone call.
So look at the positives in your sitch even though the negatives seem hard to bare right now. Stay strong and don't make any permanent decisions based off of your emotions....
me: 30 H:30 tgthr:7 m:4 no kids 5 counseling sessions initiated by H as a LR: Oct 2012 long distance marriage b/c of work since Nov 2012 official BD: July 2013 nothing filed 1/1/14 I dropped the rope
sorry you have to go through this.