How to DR if she will not leave the OM?

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Starsky309
For two days I have been thinking nonstop about the question you posted above.
Frustratingly so, I have not come up with any answers or a plan.
I am having a very hard time concentrating on the work I need to complete while on the business trip that I am on and it is slowing my return home. At the same time I am very uneasy, unsure, and nervous about going home.
While here I do not see my wife texting the OM. I hear far fewer lies about why she has to leave early or why she has to work late. And it is much easier to follow the rules.
Communication has been limited to text messages all initiated by her and one phone call yesterday that she made to me. She has been very pleasant telling me she misses me and thinking about me but that is as deep as it has gotten.
I can't stop thinking about how to "be" when I get home. And I can't stop thinking about your recommendation to set boundaries. I bought the boundaries book the same day you recommended it but I'm only on the second chapter. I have already gotten some useful information out of the book but I am yet to comprehend how to set boundaries in my situation. I will keep reading.

I have not gotten any feedback so far as to how to act at home or even now while I am away.
Rule 19. "No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment."
How can I be Happy and show happiness to my wife while she admits to having an affair and that she "can not end it"?
She is able to be happy and nice to me and she warms up when we are together and then it is like nothing happened or nothing is happening. We hold hands, get close and more.
I feel like this in enabling her. I feel like I am acting like it is ok for her to have an affair because I will be happy and nice when she is home and when she is home she will be in a comfortable environment with no pressure to leave the OM.
It is all so confusing.

In regard to a plan this is all I have so far:
"I will not accept her affair in any way but at the same time I will not give up on our marriage, our family, our daughter or her."

My only ideas about going home are to split our sleeping arraignment and ask her to move into our guest room. I worry about how this will be interpreted by my daughter. Also, if I am supposed to be making my wife happy right now I worry about how she will take this suggestion.

25yearsmlc, if you are still out there please let me know your thoughts.