Me- LBS or WAS?

[littleGTO]

Thanks again, ruby, FY, AS, bustin, and Tori,

A LOT going on with me. A LOT. I am in a very weird place, myself.

Went out w friends last night & hung out w cute young friend of theirs....felt weird and wrong. Okay, we kissed, but it was a mistake. I had way too much to drink and was he was feeding me compliments and....no excuses, it was a BIG mistake. Now, I feel very regretful.

H came to house & spent 7 hours here. We did yard work together and he kept asking how I was and how I felt to have him there doing yard work. I said, "Normally weird." When he left this evening he said, "I don't like being alone and he gave me a full, bend-down to my level, giant hug.

It felt foreign but good. But I know he is "alone" because of decisions he did NOT make- OW broke up with him. He is grieving. It [censored].

After he left (& I was glad he did- felt like I could breathe again) my S11 and I went to take toys & books to cute D'ed guy's house (lives close by). S11 played with his S3 and cute guy made us all popcorn.

When I got back home (an hour later) we texted for awhile-flirtatious & fun.

So, friends, you can give me all the 2x4s you want but what I really need is some thoughts about WHY I am where I am and what the heck am I thinking and doing??? I actually was afraid to tell you all what is happening with me, but if I can't be open and honest here, then why am I here?

STEP BACK.....yeah, that's what I need to do now. Just sit for a while... breathe.