I feel totally confused and crushed right now. Last night our daughter feel asleep on my wife's bed so I slept in my daughter's room. At around 4 am my wife calls my cell phone and tells me to come to the room because her back hurts. So I put a heat pad on it and then she made some room so I can sleep on the bed. I actually held her all last night. It was night. I later did some snooping (I know, I shouldn't be doing that) and the OM was texting her kisses. My wife responded that friends shouldn't be kissing and that they need to just be friends. She then told him that it is so hard just to be friends and that once she starts kissing him she just can't stop. Arr......
Earlier today my wife was telling me that we need to take a family photo together and that we need to get her wedding band traded up (the place we brought it from allows you to trade it in for the same amount that you paid as long as you pay 20% more than the original item). We spent most of the day running errands.
Right now she just left the house to have coffee with OM. I am just hurt. Even though she called me at 4 am, she was texting this guy from 2:30am to 4 am right before she called me. Just when I think I am making progress she continues to run and seek this guy first. When I found out she was having coffee with OM (she continues to talk to him in the bathroom and sometimes I can hear both sides of the conversation), I just felt like crap. As soon as she left I started to cry and almost threw up. It hurts to think that my wife does not desire me, does not want me, would rather be with OM than her own husband. I think things are getting better but I feel like I am fooling myself. This is so hard. I know I have to get a grip and act normal when she comes home. Days like this I just want to confront her and bare my soul. I want more than anything for our family and marriage to be restored. I hate OM. I hate that even when my wife is trying to break away he is able to seduce her. I hate that she refuses to take a stand for our marriage and tell OM enough is enough. I want my wife to love me, to want to be with me. To really commit to making the marriage work. $%*# scream. Grrr...$%*#
