Taking A Stand; What's my Position?

[Mimi00]

For the past few days I've been thinking about dating a lot.
Though no D papers are even filled out yet and it feels wrong to do so b/c technically I'm still married (though it's basically to myself lol). I guess I miss a male presence, going out to nice dinners and movies. Being here alone is starting to get me down a bit.

Today signed up for 2 dating sites just to see whats out there...the first had no options...the second had 2 cute guys who fit my requirements. I left the pages open for a minute, thought about it, then deleted my account. I just want my H lol. I can't see my self with any one else, I assume that's probably normal LBS though?

So to officially start my quest to take a stand & get my respect back, things I will do this week:
-Go to church tomorrow.
-In the next 3 weeks, attend 1-2 events from the meetup groups I've joined so I can start to make female friends in my new area.

My going dark this past week included from social media as well, b/c I noticed H pays attention to photos of activities that I post. The last few times we talked he brought pictures I posted that I forgot I even posted, so I wanted to be more of a mystery. So I think I will go more dim than completely dark and begin to post photos again online. Especially as I get into more activities, make new friends. Either H will be intrigued by it or he'll continue his twisted why of thinking (look how much better she's doing with out me). I know GAL is for me, but going out is 180 as well (one of his complaints was that I no longer wanted to try new things, just wanted to stay home).