Been with this woman for 10 years, married for the past four. She has long felt like I don't give her enough love and affection, and two months ago said she wanted a divorce. She had contacted a lawyer and I talked her out of it. We were up and down for the next two weeks and I discovered there was an EA going on and flipped out on her, got angry.
We struggled for almost a month and she went from two weeks ago saying she would never divorce me to last week locking me out of the apartment (I was staying elsewhere while we worked on issues) and saying she wanted to think about a divorce. When she locked me out of the apt she told me she wanted me to stay gone and not talk to her or anything. I spent that night obsessively looking for her. The next morning she called me back and said that she wanted me to stay away.
She called me back a few hours later to scream at me about how I had never treated her right, never loved her enough, and that she didn't want to have kids. I had just started reading DB 180 stuff and did not argue with her, or anything, but told her that I saw where she was coming from, etc. She then took some AD meds and calmed down, and asked me stuff like if we could still be friends after the D, and why I wanted to be with her, etc. She then asked me if I would sign D papers if she sent them to me. I said I didn't know. She also mentioned that she would get her own place and eventually maybe we could R and I could move back in with her, but for now she wouldn't want me to know where that would be.
So after that I stayed away from her and stopped contacting her family/friends to intercede. Today we met, and she told me it was over, and she screamed at me for a while about how I was emotionally abusive (I had sworn at her during earlier fights), and how she had finished moving her stuff out of the apartment and filed D papers and asked if I would sign them. She told me she had tried and tried and I never did anything to change and she can't trust me. She said she didn't want me following her or trying to talk about reconciling and she would only talk to me about the divorce proceedings. I told her ok to all of this, but that I wanted to think about things before signing paperwork, maybe have my own lawyer look it over. She kept screaming more and more and getting more and more angry that I asked her to stop yelling at me and asked if there was anything else she needed. I then left calmly while she was very visibly upset.
I am going to try to talk to a DB coach tomorrow. Any advice? Anyone see how this could turn around? Is it over? Is it better to just give her a quick divorce so she doesn't hate me more for fighting her?
T 10 years, M 4 years, both 28 years old 7/3/2013 - W wanted D, we attempted to reconcile 7/20/2013 - discovered W's EA, attempted to reconcile 8/24/2013 - W told me she wanted D, filed papers
