Rose "Met with a palm reader this am (not for real but fun) asked me how long I'd been divorced (I wear my wedding band and still have my family pics on the wall so he managed to figure that out) he said that I would find acceptance in October/November....I guess we'll see"
Brought this over from Portia's thread Rose. I'm interested in hearing more about this - this person came to your home?
I'm glad your H agreed to your original figure. But won't he change his mind if the appraiser comes up with a much higher figure? How did you come up with that amount in the first place?
Hope the fair goes well and H changes his mind about the tickets for the boys!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
Yes, Linda he came over to my house. He's a friend of my cousin, although he knows nothing about me. He lives in NY and travels the world doing this. He said quite a few things actually. Said that H came back so we could have S14 but should have left 8 years ago but stayed for the boys. H hasn't loved me in 4 years. No ones fault just is. Said I've already met the man I'm supposed to be with, met him in the last two years, and he loves me but I'm not ready yet so has stepped back. He said the new man will be more financially stable and will love me more than H. He was adamant on this. Also said H's subconscience knows theres another man in love with me out there. We'll see. Lol
He won't know about the appraiser. I need one for the mortgage anyway so it's for my use which I will also use as a reassurance it's about what the house would sell for. Believe it or not we have been looking at places to move up until 5 months ago and this was the number we worked on when looking
Not sure if I should have the boys ask H for tickets or just leave it alone. Any thoughts?
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Because things have been rather rocky w/your h the last few weeks, I think I would leave the requests for tickets alone. If you can afford the tickets, I would purchase them and go from there.
As for the future, God is the only one that knows. I do find it interesting how the reading went...
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Snodderly, I was thinking the same thing but m worried he'll be all offended if we don't.....it's hard to read. The ride passes are expensive BUT my BIL also works at the fair and can get me some for the boys but again is he going to get upset if my BIL does it and he doesn't. When I graduated I had really hoped I was done with high school.....I was wrong
Yes, you're completely right ONLY God knows the future but I've had people share their thoughts with me AFTER I mentioned what he said to me and it would seem that I've missed some signs (because I had no reason to look). They are saying stuff to me that upsets/confuses me and I'm processing more info
We'll see what happens to my feelings for H and go from there
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Then have have the boys contact their father and inquire about the tickets. If he doesn't want to do it, then contact your BIL, but don't wait too long to do so. Your h may have completely forgotten about the tickets w/everything else swirling around in his head.
WR, we all miss some signs along the way because we are way too close to the situation. The more you detach, the more you'll begin to see around you.
Don't look too far into the future because things can surely change on a dime and give you a couple of pennies back. Live each day to the fullest and take it one day at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Just asked S18 and he does not want to ask.....got a little defensive, I said it was fine either way, but it's obviously a sore spot.
These were more signs between H and our tenant. I've had a few people now say that there may have been an alpha male struggle between the two and that maybe he has feelings for me and I'm just missing it because I'm married, don't think that way as its not an option, but they are saying the tenant is also missing his feelings for me as he is also married (first wife left for an EA) and it is also not an option for him. Now I'm wondering if H's jealousy, although NOTHING has happened between tenant and me, was valid and I just completely missed it all or if these friends are seeing things because they want to. Maybe it added/complicated H's MLC? I'm feeling guilty but for possibly missing things that were running under my radar that may have exasperated the situation
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Since S18 doesn't want to ask, you have Option B to fall back on. I would contact the BIL and inquire about the tickets.
As for what others have told you about the tenant, take it w/a grain of salt. Even if he had feelings for you, he did not act on them, nor were you aware of them. Please remember that you did not caused your h's mlc. It is a situation that was created a very long time ago when he was a little boy. There is no way that you could have prevented it because it was going to happen whether he was married to you or to someone else or even single.
Do not feel guilty about something you weren't aware of nor had control over. Let the comments go because each person will have see things differently, just as we can interpret the written word differently here.
You need to let it go...you are going to drive yourself crazy and make yourself sick from the stress.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, I've already messaged BIL.....he said he hAs it covered.
I do see I did not cause his MLC but hope it worries me I may have been blind to something happening in my own home. Was I too busy to see/care? I wouldn't like that to be who I am if that is what I did.
The crazy train has left the station.....hoping I stayed at the terminal and let it leave without me. Lol
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
Hello all Went to the fair on Sunday. Boys were off, I was a bit too, H walked around with the boys for about half hour, I was walking around with my sister at another end of the park so never saw H. The boys and I did run into an older man we know, through our church and he's been working on the grounds for over 40 years as a casual part time but knows everybody. He didn't know anything so joked "who let you guys in here? Oh have you seen a guy named ......?" Referring to the fact that during fair we don't see our spouses much. S18 answer "not really" and S14 took a step back. I had to say how H no longer lives with us. He was shocked, as was his wife, wanted to know what his problem was and if work was too much for him....very sarcastically. I had to say I don't know he just doesn't live with us anymore. It was very uncomfortable and upsetting.
Monday I message H saying that I'm in the process of applying for the mortgage at the agreed upon price and thanked him for his understanding (as I gag)
Tuesday appraiser comes for the mortgage and actually appraises the house $5000 less than agreed upon term. My cousin is a real estate agent and says she undervalued it but I'm taking it.
Yesterday went to see my acct and she explained the financials paperwork to me and how I need to calculate my income etc. I still have quite a bit of work to do but now at least I understand the Math.
Today I get a letter my lawyer received from H's lawyer wanting to know when I'd get my financials done. When I was going to have my mortgage done. Saying the Honda was in an accident no one told us about so is valued the same as this new truck he is driving (so made no money off of the sale) and wants to know what I did with the large tax return I normally get that we put towards household debt. Before H left I had taxes done, like I always do and pay for, and normally HUSBAND gets a largish return. I guess he thinks I had the acct make it so I got it instead and he had to pay on this years return. What an ass!!!! He hadn't left yet and I didn't do anything....taxes were done like they always were!! Actually, I also had to pay! He thinks I'm thinking like him and out to get him!!! Oh and the other visa, one I'm a secondary on and normally pay but couldn't pay in full due to my contribution to the mortgage last month, called looking for him and I gave them his cell number and said he no longer lives here.
I REALLY want to message him and say I'm not screwing him around. I'm not doing anything BUT everything to keep our kids going and I'm working like a dog to do it. That I paid on our annual taxes too and am not hiding any money JERK I'm not you!
Oh and last night S18 came home from work saying how he's going to start asking for Saturdays off so he can ride, cyclist, with his friends to get his mind off of stuff. I asked what was up, thinking there was stuff going on at work, and he got really antsy with me saying stuff here and how his dad said he wasn't worthy of ride passes but wants to know what days he has off of work so he can take H shopping with his discount. I was shocked at his audacity. I told son to calm down we were all upset and dealing with stuff and that although I asked, and he can always tell me, he needs to watch his workding and tone as I am one persons trying her best and his mother. My cousin was there, equally upset with everything son said, and said "here's what you tell your dad.........you're too busy!"
I'm so frustrated. He's working on warp speed without anything else to do and I'm working on stuff while trying to be a mom, run the house and my business. It's just never good/fast enough for him. I'm not feeling well again. So stressed out and have so much work to do so our kids can continue to eat! At my whits end
M 16 T 20 M 41 H 39 S 19 S 15 Bomb drop April 4; Moved out April 13 D started-full force ----------------------- Dancing through the fire Cause I am a champion and you’re gonna hear me ROAR
WR, Take a huge breath! Your h has nothing better to do but sit around and plot out ways to get money and yes, discounts. It's all about him and he doesn't care if who he uses to get what he wants. Your son will need to advise his father that his "discount" privilege is for him.
I'm glad you got the home appraised and are finishing up the financials. Yes, it's frustrating when they have their lawyers come back and question what we have done w/tax returns, etc. They do carry a lot of paranoia around and think that we are out to get them. They tend to forget that they are projecting on to us what they are doing all of the time...sticking it to us.
Stay as calm as possible and do what you can to get those financials done. You are doing great and it does take time to gather up all of the information. I'm glad you referred the Visa rep to him and gave them his cell phone #. Time for him to man up and take responsibility for his bills.
I do hope that you and your sons can have a good weekend. Find something that you and your family can do together and enjoy.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
