Thank you for your various inputs. Here, in no particular order, are some responses:
o I feel like I don't have a place up there... each kid has a room and W has taken the "big room". There is also a porch attached to the big room - perhaps I could hang out there, though it gets dark by 9 here now. o I feel like I need a reason to be up there. I'd really just like to hang out though, and be with the family. Daughter is playing tiddly winks in big room just now, where W is working on school job stuff. o I did try to go up once, in the middle of the night, but W told me that "we don't know each other that way any more", and so I went back down again. o W is pretty, sexy, smart, fit, energetic, creative, international, was once loving. It is hard to find women like that. o W had various dominant boyfriends before - the physically big football star, the stock broker with a Porsche, the drug dealer driving a fast car, etc. Now she has an engineer, working most of the time at home, alone, on abstract seeming computer stuff, and then gone to the States 30% of the time for work. o she cited abandonment as one reason for her anger at me. Yes, I am gone 30% of the time, far away, but am then at home even for work, and so can cook, do logistics for the kids, run errands, shop, etc. I definitely do not have the usual commute to work job, gone from 7.30 to 6.30, here in Sweden(though I do when in the States). o our house is very nice, with a beautiful garden, on a lake, in a good location. I am loath to probably have to leave it if we D. o SD - you ask 64000$ questions here - I don't know is the short answer - must ruminate and read more on this - o W has said no to her going canoeing, but proposed that we all go to dinner tomorrow night, after, so maybe that is okay. I needed a bit of courage to ask at all, so maybe that was my small out of the comfort zone exercise today. At least the kids and I will have a good time. o SD - thank you for pointing out that I have a choice -
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
