This life is more than ordinary

[Whiterose]

Keep going you're doing great! Sending you nothing but positive energy:)

[reachingHigher]

Hi T^2!

I was laying awake last night pondering the quantum physics quote you posted. Crazy stuff!

It's so strange being on this side of limbo. As if these last five years never happened. As if I got a "new and improved" version of H. As if the labor pains of giving birth to a new R have all subsided.

My fears are small now. Very small.

There is no limerance. I don't think for us there will ever be another "in-love" feeling or "spark" like at the beginning. But it's a solidness and joy. A working-together loving team. It's so wonderful.

And I believe you are getting there. Even if you can't say details. I understand. You've been awesome through this whole journey and continue to be so

Hugs,
rH

[ForeverYoung]

Let the universe do its work on her.

...Or the Reality Stick. Your choice.

[RosaLinda]

"Sitting quietly, I see the answers hovering and flitting about, though not quite "here" yet."  What a wonderful concept to read at 4 am, T. It reminds me of clapping our hands to save Tinkerbell after she drank MLC poison. Her light is flickering, but if we believe hard enough, and do the work, she'll glow bright again. As will your wife's love and committment to your marriage. Like Snodderly says, sit quietly and observe. I have a feeling you'll be observing your heart's desire coming true mighty soon

[TSquared2]

Greetings,

This week's update is pretty much like last week's....slow, consistent, numerous "small" things...much like Raine and TVS and their sitches.

I have heard only her "real" tone in voice, none of the mlc "tone" that we LBS know oh so well. Her reading list appears to be working on co-d, a little AA-type daily book on co-d and better R's, conscious loving, untangling tangled Rs and finding self-esteem. I am seeing more "real" her, with some new stuff, such as, she seems to not be getting all worked up about stuff, kind of taking life as it comes.

It appears that she is going through a lot of the work that we LBS have to do after BD, as has been said here...they are ahead of us on the leaving/detaching the R, after a while, we are ahead on the self-work. So I can "see" the processing, and know to lay back, only she can get herself through to where she is going to be.

Her first paycheck was deposited in the joint acct, for me I make that a rather positive sign of her intentions, though that can always change, as we all know. But waiting for that deposit (it took her a few days after getting it, and I am one who deposits same day) sure gave me an opportunity to get antsy...lol, spun myself up once or twice over silly things...guess my detachment mix was off those days. And it also tells me I am not "done done", by any stretch of the imagination.

One "little" thing that has happened is one evening I was being goofy with S2 and her, and she winked at me...and I have got in two casual, passing-by, shoulder touches in with no discernible cringe effect, lol. There are more, but just want to keep things low key still.

I have been almost an ideal of "aloof but available" (thank you rH for that metaphor ). Throw in some Tony Stark/Sherlock Holmes, as done by Robert Downey Jr, alter ego activation and a pretty fun, no pressure environment is created . I forgot how easy that is for me to do/be.

As for me, I just do what I need to, or want to. Been into fixing our vehicles again, which is good for me and the budget, working out/biking a lot, body-fat under 11% and almost touching 10.0%. Not too bad for an old 48 year old guy with an office job, lol. Haven't been out in wilderness this season yet, too many fires, the home stuff and until now with W's paycheck, budget said, nope. So hopefully will get out still, as long as I don't mind risking snow at higher elevations, I still have through October...

This weekend I will be fixing vehicles, gardening, making bread and other food, and whatever strikes my fancy as it occurs. I am liking that W works Saturdays, gives me "my space and time" at home with just myself and the boys.

So, yup, just surfing the "slow settling down" wave...

My life is good, not perfect, but good.

Hope everyone makes a great weekend!!

[TSquared2]

Seems I always post and then think of something else a few minutes later...

-W's job has been a godsend in so many ways. Her self-esteem is rising well...she does her work very well, is valued there, interacts with other people and sees, I have been given small hints, that her life isn't/wasn't so bad. Plus she is contributing to the family is a visible way (though I wish she could see how she did before with SAHM and home-schooling...she'll get there, I hope). The added income is lightening the financial pressure issue off our R/M (yay!). Some small extras can be allowed. And she has somewhere else to direct certain controlling energies besides at home .

-The local cheap theater is playing Iron Man 3, Superman and Star Trek...think the boys and I will be able to find a movie this weekend?

-My company is continuing the expansion plans, future and "company officer" prospects looking rather good...

[uRworthy]

Oh, T, things sound like they are moving along really well. So very happy for you.

I know you know to watch that antsy stuff - though we all get that way from time to time.

Keep doing what you're doing. Being who you're being.

[reachingHigher]

T^2, loved reading all of this. You sound so centered. So balanced.

I know what you mean about needing your own space. I had that this week with H gone. We still need that.

I like that W is working on her issues without discarding the M. Yay!

Have a super weekend

rH

[TSquared2]

Thank you UR and rH....pretty balanced and grounded, except for when I allow myself to get spun up over silly things...

W talked to me for an hour tonight, venting about work, even ended up sitting on the couch (though at far end) with me...but I can't remember the last time we inhabited a piece of furniture together at the same time, lol.

Oh, and FY, this was really funny, been meaning to say something to you:

By the way, worrying about jinx is just silly. Everyone knows there's no such thing as jinx as long as we have our lucky rabbits foot.

Too bad you aren't out here we could take a a$$-kicking ride up to "the local high point" Butte...go from 2700 ft to 7900 ft...its an all morning ride up, and then just a crazy fun coast back down. Get all sorts of mlc-W stuff talked out...

[uRworthy]

Hey, why dont you guys make that happen? Sounds like fun. I have met up with a few dbers. Couple of them will be friends for life, I think. Just sayin.....