Closer to Fine

[labug]

Thanks, busting, you know what a long road this has been. We've gone months at a time and not communicated. at. all. I think we've always liked each other, we only had that intense fiery anger around the time of bomb drop.

Val asked about fear, and there is some there but I know that no matter what happens I'll still be 'closer to fine.' I've gotten pretty good at silencing that voice inside my head that constantly critiques and advises and stay in the moment, acting on what's in front of me.

Whatever, I'm here right now because I'm supposed to be here right now. I'm going to go forward with an open heart and appreciate whatever happens.

It's clearer today that he's ready to try something. Not sure what that is right now. We texted off and on over 4 hours last night. We've never done that, ever. In fact, there was a time when he didn't even respond to my texts unless there was a specific question about the sons that needed an answer.

Before last Sat I hadn't laid eyes on him for a couple of months.

We'll see.