One giant leap forward! - Part 4

[T1000]

When I first started reading about the latest developments and your answers to her about not being a family, therefore not doing things together as a family.....I wondered if you were letting my advice over on F's thread influence your reaction.

Yes I did. It felt appropriate to me.
It was my quick fix to try to shock her into what she was doing.
As labug said that isn't my job and I know it isn't.
I don't think it worked.
I don't regret doing it and I'm sticking by what I said.

Then something else seemed to stand out when I was reading. What your W said about the flowers. Something about if she knew it would wake you up, she would have bought herself flowers weeks ago. I remember when it happened and I wondered about it then. So, did you bring up the subject of the flowers when you had the fight over this new guy? Did she actually say he was the one who sent them?

Maybe you assume some (not all) things b/c of how it feels to you. You felt like she was committed to the M, even though she never said so. She left flowers out in plain view for you to see, and you assumed somebody sent them to her, even though you asked. She had fun with you then. I wondered myself if she played you that day or if she was that dumb to leave flowers out from another man.......knowing you didn't want her dating. Frankly, I think she was trying to make you jealous.

She never said he was the one that sent them. They could have been from herself, they might be OM from months ago or they, they might be from the guy she is going/gone on the date with or she might not know who they are from.

I can't remember who brought them up. I do remember her saying "I should have sent myself some weeks ago" out of nowhere.

She is a very attractive woman, it's not hard to imagine other men trying to date her or send her flowers. None of us know where they came from really.

Did she turn to OM b/c she thought you were not interested? I don't buy it. Just b/c you were wanting to have a real MR instead of just using her for sex? Or is it b/c she has to have a man to feel better about herself? With her mother as her role model, who knows?

It seems to be all about what she is feeling there and then. Always has been. If she is bi-polar I won't be one bit surprised.

You have decisions to make about how you want to live the rest of your life. If you think she is worth all the pain and heartache she may continue to put you through, that is your decision. If you want a shot at finding somebody who is more stable and wants the same things you want in a M, that is your decision. However, you don't have to make any decisions about it now. In fact, you don't need to make any long lasting decisions until you get past this last stabbing of the heart.


Remember what you said to F in your last post yesterday? Very good advice to live by.

I don't have to decide anything right now.
At the moment I'm thinking of D myself.
Right now, I have had enough.

If we hadn't had this last 4-5 weeks I would have been so much further forward.