Moving forward together from a mess

[cbtdad]

Tonight and I guess tomorrow morning is my first big test of patience and not getting angry. Actually I am more disappointed than angry right now.
Here's the story. W is out tonight with her new friend. Her new good friend actually, who she happened to meet thorough the OM. It's her friends birthday tomorrow and she wanted to take her out to dinner. No problem.
But just like I thought would happen. Because this friend lives about an hour way. Same town as OM by the way. W friend calls me up and asked if W could stay out there so they could go out. I told her, "it's your birthday you guys have fun. I was expecting W to stay there anyways. Just have W call me later"
She says she called me before W even said anything. Still not sure if I believe that. Anyways W calls like 5 minutes later and asks if I'm going to be upset.
I said, "I'm not thrilled about the idea, but I'm not pissed about it. You are an aldult, I am not your mom, you do what you think is best"
She resounds, "I promise I'll make it up to you." i said, "goodnight, have fun and please be home by 10am, we'll talk about it in the morning"
I thought I would be angry about this, but I'm not. I'm more disappointed and hurt.
I've already journaled some about this so I could prepare to talk to her about this in the morning.
I've clearly said to her on multiple occasions before and since we have moved up here that I would not be comfortable with her staying in that part of town for at least a few months. It's been less than a month since we moved.
We have also discussed over and over since we have been piecing that nothing good happens after midnight. We lived by this rule the first few years of our marriage. There is no reason to be out past midnight unless we are together.
I think the what upsets me the most is a golden opportunity comes up like this to show me how serious she is about working on this marriage and she doesn't even hesitate. Stays the night anyways.
I definitely didn't want to come off as the bad guy on her friends birthday so I wasn't going to seem unhappy about it to the friend.
On top of it. I was anxious all day because wife went to a horseshow the entire day where OM friends and family would be the whole day as well.
Our MC, in city before we moved, final words to me were, "Cbtdad remember that God is trying to teach patience through this. This is your biggest lesson right now"
I believe her now. Patience, patience, patience!!