I have cut WAY back on communication since the initial two weeks. Most of it was the whole annoying junk that DB is against, and I usually just got the text back "We're done, leave me a lone".
But the other night, I called W for a different reason, and we ended up talking for 1.5 hours. She actually talked about how if she came back, we'd be good for 6 months, and then everything would be the same. However, she communicated back and forth and listened to me; although her response was typically, "Well, we're done, so it doesn't matter" - she didn't hang up like she usually does, and really listened.
I forgot to mention during the three weeks things were going really well, I had told W that I wanted to build a place of safety/security/trust for her to heal from the emotional abuse from her past - I'm not bringing it up anymore but that's how I work on myself. I figure even if she doesn't come back; I'll benefit, kids will benefit, etc.
Today, since I found all the records of this "affair", W got really mad and told me to get my cell phone off of our family shared plan. I tried three times and it didn't work, so I just texted her and said, "I was too busy to mess with this". This is a 180 for me because normally I try to accommodate to be helpful.
I had friends over for dinner, and she said, "Well you're not too busy to have friends over", and I responded, "They're more important than me helping you cover your tracks!" She then insisted there was nothing to cover up. And I said, "Not texting anymore, hanging with the kids", and went off.
It was interesting to see her a bit on the defensive - not that I was intending to attack, but me just really honestly responding to something that was dumb.
